Head graphic
Globalconquest.ca
Divorced from reality. Reality got the house and kids.

2010年02月12日

Relax, death welcomes you

All the decisions in life, big and small, lead you strangely to your present situation. Somehow, this is all the more palpable in the context of death; for when you think of it, this is the end result of all your decisions. Should I apply for that job in Japan? Should I cook tonight or eat out? Should I study physics or biology? Should I learn the Tango? Should I buy my friend a drink at the bar or just take care of myself this round?

Of emotions, there are few so painful as regret. That is why the answer to whether one should embrace a particular challenge is generally “yes”. When choosing between a number of strong options, however, I break down in doubt and find myself paralysed by indecision. I am far from a satisficer and, instead of seeking a solution of adequacy, always seek the optimal which, ironically, is generally a sub-optimal strategy. The current decision with which I am faced is subject of a future post. The macabre inspiration for the topic is, of course, the subject of the present one.

This morning I awoke with my heart racing and a mournful yet peaceful disposition. My early hours were full of wild dreams as is often the case. Today I was on some tropical island with a cohort of Brazilian colleagues from modelling days. Stranded or vacationing I recollect not. That dream was displaced by one far more salient.

I boarded a Korean air flight and remember being taken to my seat. It was spacious and comfortable and perhaps in first or business class. After showing us to our seats and taking the usual preparatory actions, the (American, not Korean) flight attendants were seated nearby for takeoff. They sit facing rearward as it affords a higher likelihood of survival in the event of a crash - you might take notice on your next flight.

Shortly after takeoff, I felt the plane was flying at a decline. I could see buildings outside the window flying past and growing larger. Though terrified I expected the plane to pull up and tried to imagine the pilot landing successfully in a field or in the water, but the density of buildings suggested that was impossible. The flight attendant made some announcements about remaining calm and the imminent impact but I wasn't paying attention. People started to panic and push and the flight attendant announced "If you want to live, you won't stab the seat in front of you".

I felt then that I was going to die and felt resigned to my fate. I stared forward and thought I saw white light rushing through the front of the plane. The flight attendant, in a sweet, calm voice then announced: "Relax, death welcomes you." And suddenly I woke.

When I arrived at the office this morning, my friend informed me that (Lee) Alexander McQueen was dead. Enabled by gilt, I have assembled a small and cherished collection of Alexander McQueen paraphernalia including a frock coat, broach, silk bow ties, and silk pajama shirt. Most of these items I wear infrequently, if at all, but relish in the opulence and associated Victorian nostalgia.

I followed @mcqueenworld on twitter, and enjoyed photographs and videos from shows. The closest, however, I got was from crashing a casting (run not, of course, by the man himself) in Milan. My agency didn’t send me, but I went anyway with my friends. After I walked, I had my Polaroid taken but that was all. No callbacks, options, or bookings. I have some friends who must have met him when doing the shows.

His death is largely meaningless to much of the population, but any kind of connection, peripheral as it may be, has been embraced by the fashion world. The end of a great man reminds us not only of our own mortality, but of our unused potential, lest we too pass without reaching it.

His death reminded me also of Daul Kim’s suicide late last year. If such exceptional individuals were within such reach of despair, then what of us and our friends, family, and neighbours? Daul’s blog was removed swiftly after the news of her suicide. I returned to it today, expecting to see the same message of access restriction, and found that it has been mercifully restored to public access. I am happy that one of her outlets for expression and contribution to society can once again serve to inspire us and recall our duty to foster a sense of community and appreciation of and amongst our peers.

Reflecting on the lives of others reveals the most about your own. Your own triumphs and fears, goals and insecurities, achievements and failures. Behind the skull motifs and melancholy music are a series of decisions - conscious ones, passive ones, acquiescent ones - that brought you to the gears of your current life and will bring you, ultimately, to the end of it.

thyroid cancer fibroids connection

mugen sprite megaman

clomid fibroids polyps

bbi electric financial difficulties

nose piercing fibroids

gate

symtoms a degenetive fibroid

commercial lobster traps san diego

subserosal fibroid attached to bowel

grafenthal figurines bird hunter

calcified fibroid surgery

libra rabbit best match

fibroids enlarged uterus illustration

exponential growth in business interest

fibroid bahasa melayu

boundary for district 32 livingston parish

do fibroid tumors cause discharge

mandolin

fibroid cyst and hysterectomy

lt1 stock performance upgrades

can fibroids calcified cause miscarriage

sheepskin chair pillows

define fibroid ablation

womens

fibroids tumor in stomach

vick

uterus flipping because of fibroid tumors

radio station albany astrologist today

atypical uterine fibroids that are liquid

honda odyssey 2001 replace instrument light

cervical fibroids management

receta para preparar pollos estilo sinaloa

real pictures of fibroid tumors with hair and teeth

xander spike fanfiction

do fibroids cause fever

nsis integer operation

fibroids and exercise fatigue

flywheel cover chevrolet 350 1971

fibroid tumor pictures

tarp grabbers sold in australia

fibroids and post menopause

la enterprises crankshafts

calcified fibroid tuber risk of cancer

dangers of ultraviolet telescope

death rates in fibroid tumor removal

abandoned

can belly fat cause fibroids after menopause

diffuse fibroids

fibroid and kidneyssymptoms

vase

meaning of anterior fibroid

how to make cinnamon pretzels in nj

will noni juice shrink fibroid tumors

wiring for digital tachometer

can progesterone cause fibroid degeneration

masa

uterine fibroid of 4cm

extender

uterine polyps fibroids thickening tratments

allis

what happens when fibroids dissolve

express tire griffin ga

treatment for a 4cm fibroid

skin discoloration in obese males stomach pictures

fibroid cysts in palm of hand

pus oozing from suprapubic catheter

fibroids pain bloating

cut out dolls holding hands

goji juice for fibroids

kenmore part no 695563

fibroids disentegrating symptoms

tomorrow never dies lyrics download

thermal balloon ablation fibroids

giant volume slide software

fibroids subserosal posterior back pain treatments

indus

femara for uterine fibroid

free pattern machine knit tights

ruptured uterine fibroid

automotive rotisserie

ultrasonic fibroid treatment pacient testimonial

weider crossbow workout routine

fibroid treatments for 4 cm size

alexander h copley

how to deal with an intestinal blockage from cysts or fibroids

poetry shower curtains

what is a hypoechoic fibroid

olsen twins pictures in jeans

increased fdg uptake in fibroids

portable food tray for handicapped

fibroids cause bulging discs

tape gagged men tubes Posted by William at 00:06 | Comments (0)

Powered by
Movable Type 3.15
Slashdot

34,000-Year-Old Organisms Found Buried Alive

JFK Library Launches Largest Presidential Online Archive

Low Quality Alloy Cause of Shuttle Main Tank Issue

HiJacking the iPhone's Headset Port

Research Suggests E-Readers Are "Too Easy" To Read

VP8 Decoder Implemented In Flash Using Alchemy

Intel Plans Windows 8 Phones

Palin's E-Mail Hacker Imprisoned Against Judge's Wishes

Trend Micro Chairman Says Open Source Is a Security Risk

Fed Goes Hunting For Malcontents

mayo clinic fibroid tumors

jewelers magnifing light nz

can a fibroid tumor grow back after partial hysterectomy

medic

fast growing fibroid tumors

plants

how much does a 7 cm fibroid weigh

dune buggy accesories

wobenzym n for fibroid tumors

pictures of flowering weeds in south dakota

fibroid tumor in the canal

escape

fibroid uterus with areas of necrosis curable

pant

what causes the bleeding when u have a cyst fibroid tumer

western design themes

what causes plantar fibroid

guinness world records longest paper airplane to stay in the air

uterine artery embolization for subserosal exophytic fibroid

arturo fuente hemingways cigars uk supplier

ultrasound images of fibroids

kates

dog dog fibroid tumor

how do you perform abdominal massage to induce abortion

cystic degeneration fibroid naturally

electrode thermal dynamics 38xl

juicing for pedunculated fibroids

nailfold capillary depth

neuro fibroids

how to give yourself lymphatic massage for swelling

do fibroid tumors have hair and teeth in them

custom hem tags uk

medical discharge army policy fibroids

egypt zip code cairo zamalek

african remedies for getting rid of fibroids

wakeboard tower sizing

how do you diagnosis plantar fibroid

how to make triple wall plastic pipe

hair loss diseases fibroid tumor in women

pathophysiology of hyperkalemia in diagram

carrots fibroid cysts

tennessee

calcification fibroid

2 plastic pipe quick release fittings

fibroids adenomas sympto

windward sports park alpharetta 4th of july party

fibroid tumors and synthroid

common problems with evinrude 9 9

6 inch fibroid

stone teapot white english

fibroids pictures 5 centimeters picture

madagascar 12 days of christmas lyrics

6 5 cm fibroid anterior photo

craigs list mules and wagons

fast growing fibroid tumor on dog s leg

hero

water treatment surgery for uterus fibroids

massey ferguson 283 tractor

emerita and fibroids

diamond

how to palpate uterine fibroids or cysts

4x4 suzuki vitara snorkel

where can i buy fibroidclear herbal remedy in australia

prison tycoon1 free download for pc

will progesterone cream help shrink fibroids

sweet

fibroids attached to the bowel

gospel tent clip art

fundle fibroid and aeg

lunch

backache and fibroid

conductive hearing loss alternative solutions

fibroid embolization side effects

womens adidas capris

what is cause of mortality foruterine fibroid

50 cal rifle adelaide

goji berries reduce fibroid tumor

7 3 powerstroke stats

signs of dissolving fibroids

kuukaku sprites

photos of women with fibroid tumors

wendell berry vegetarian

exophytic fibroid vs malignant mass

eric

can a fibroid burst

precious moments prayers lyrics

cystic fibroid tumor in throat

natal

anterior fibroid

scematic of crosman 2100

photos of fibroid uterus cysts

sinaunang pagsulat alfabeto sa egypt How To Get Around the Holes In IE9 Beta's Implementation of Canvas

Why Sony Cannot Stop PS3 Pirates

EDSAC Computer To Be Rebuilt

Capcom 'Saddened' By Game Plagiarism Controversy

Capcom 'Saddened' By Game Plagiarism Controversey

North Korean Domain Names Return To the Internet

Google Pushes New Chrome Release, Pays $14k Bounty

Is Samsung Blocking Updates To Froyo?

Virgin Mobile To Start Throttling Broadband2Go

Embedded Linux 1-Second Cold Boot To QT

Are 10-11 Hour Programming Days Feasible?

NASA Says 2010 Tied For Warmest Year On Record

Amazon EC2 Enables Cheap Brute-Force Attacks

First Ceiling Light Internet Systems Installed

Google vs. Bing — a Quasi-Empirical Study

hanna kroeger fibroid tumors

fotos modelos negros

degenerating fibroids after menopause

fuji s1000 sample pictures

uterine biopsy for fundal fibroid

cannibal women eating mens testicals

hcg fibroid homeopathy

worksheet

symptoms of uterine polyp fibroid

thick ladies in heels

neem shrinking fibroids

fibroid centimeters

fibroid attached to bowel

wobenzym n cure for fibroids

what is a discrete fibroid

treating uterine fibroids with iodine

fibroid tumor perforates uterine wall side effects

lahore fibroids homeopathy

fibroid tumor in foot

goji and fibroids

fibroid laser therapy in karachi

volume calculator for fibroids

thickening of uterine lining normal with fibroid

can coffee desolve fibroid

how do fibroids affect your estradiol level

corpous fibroid

pictures of fibroid tumors on a sonogram

herbs that shrink fibroids

can uterine fibroids rupture

fibroid attached to ovary postmenopausal

fibroids cause nausea and backache

will castor oil dissolve fibroids

what happens to subserosal fibroid after menopause

costs uterine fibroids embolization japan

vascustatin and fibroids

what causes fibroid adanomas

fibroid neck natural treatment

degenerative fibroid cysts

fast growing uteran fibroids

number one best seller natural fibroid treatments

uterine fibroids pictures

pituitary tumor ovarian fibroids

calcified uterine fibroids photos

inflamed uterus and fibroid

picture of a 15mm fibroid

fibroids and leg numbness

uterian fibroid

alternative remedies for fibroids

homoeopathic remedies for ovarian tumors and fibroids printable articles

iugr fibroid

posterior fibroid pictures

Wired

Tiny Silicon Chip Uses Quantum Physics to Slow Light Down

CES Confessions: Booth Babes, Trash, Motorola, Media

Real-Life <em>Angry Birds</em>Adds Human Interaction to Your Addiction

Review: <em>Green Hornet</em>Leans On Superheroes' Latest Weapon: Comedy

What's Inside: Purina Kitten Chow

Jan. 14, 1794: First Successful Cesarean in U.S.

In Nuclear Silos, Death Wears a Snuggie

Celebrating 70 Years of Jeep

Burning Question: Why Do E-Mails Contain Legal Warnings?

Alt Text: Join the Church of Strahmin, Then Leave

Old School Jet Retooled to Slay Stealth Fighters

For 3-D Video, the Near Future Is DIY

EVO Phone With Keyboard? Just Not Our Type

degenerative fibroids foods

gastric fibroid polyp symptoms

vitalzym for intramural fibroids

icd 9 calcified fibroid tumors

bernard jenson on fibroid cysts and tumors

my uterine fibroid tumors cause bladder retention before menses and back numbness

mid cycle bleeding clots fibroids

can a complex mass on ovary be a fibroid tumor

fibroid and neem

herb degenerating uterine fibroids

fibroid on face in cats

can a fibroid ovarian cysts cause bloating all over abdominal pain

fibroids size and weight

does vitamin b6 dissolve fibroids

images of fibroids with hair and teeth

pictures of a fibroid on dog s gums

tcm and degenerating fibroids

calcified fibroid swelling

passing tissue with degenerating fibroid

red maca treatment for fibroids

can damiana heal fibroids

bleeding after menopause fibroids

pro help fibroid cream hormone

degenerating fibroid tumors

uterine fibroids cause skin tags leg

amanda redman fibroid

fibroid hip pain

fibroid polyp fibroid polyp

complex endometrial hyperplasia with fibroids

calcified uterine fibroid pictures

can apple cyder vinegar degenerate fibroids

pituitary tumor migraines chin hair fibroids

fundal fibroid submucosal

define fibroid cysts

food grade diatomaceous earth cures fibroids

fibroid cysts causes and fixes

tcm for fibroids

can uterine fibroids cause nausea

degenerating fibroid cause gas

degenerated uterine fibroids and its consequences

homeopathy treatment of uterus fibroids size 6 50 centimeter

what are fibroid tumors articles

tibetan medicine uterine fibroids

pain with submucosal fibroids

ovarian fibroid histology

pics of fibroid tumors with hair

Airborne Prions Make for 100 Percent Lethal Whiff

Apple's Next iOS Improves Interface, Adds Multitouch Gestures for iPad

Two New Views of Stunning Starburst Galaxy

Lawyer: PlayStation 3 Jailbreak Code Is a 'Google Search Away'

Unfollowed: Pentagon Deletes Social Media Office

Researchers Use MRI to Predict Your Gaming Prowess

Upcoming Asus Tablets Will Run Android Honeycomb

Report: Feds Prepare to Block Google's Flight-Data Deal

Sucklord's Bootleg Sci-Fi Toys Freak <cite>Star Wars</cite>

WikiLeaks Contributes $15K to Bradley Manning's Defense

Secret Service Study Probes Psyche of U.S. Assassins

Afghanistan's Green Marines Cut Fuel Use by 90 Percent

Video: Ludacris 'Not Blowing Smoke' With New Headphones

Mystery Disease Found in Pacific Salmon

What We Know About Honeycomb, aka Android for Tablets

Video: Sound Egg Isolates Your Annoying Tunes

Google Translate App Now Almost A Personal Babel Fish

GlobeInvestor

brachytherapy to treat fibroid tumor

calcification of uterine fibroids and iodine

large fibroid and nausea

pathophysiology diagram of uterine fibroid

apple cider vinegar and fibroids

cystic fibroid uterus death

fibroids cornish hen

signs of a disintegrating fibroid

dissolving fibroid tumors with vibration

natural healing for uterine fibroids infrared lamp

disintegrating fibroid

abortion while fibroids surgery

is average size of a fibroid tumor 4cm

pictures of calcified fibroid in uterus

what happens when a uterine fibroid degenerates

fibroid uterine spasm after d c

fibroid tumors equine by shoulder

irritable bowel syndrome and uterine fibroids

fibroid tumor vagus nerve

lupron for fibroids smoker

conversion chart fibroid size

passing fibroid tissue cramping

passing fibroid naturally

multiple fibroids and thickening of lining of uterus no bleeding

passing tissue after ruptured fibroid

fibrosis vs fibroids

fibroid horse

cat claw to shrink fibroids

mucous fibroid

non invasive fibroid removal

bsm and fibroids

picture of large pedunculated fibroid

average size uterine fibroids

walking and fibroids

fibroid pain after exercise

uterus fibroid size 7 by 7 cm

fibroid tumors internal bleeding

do fibroids burst

aloe vera juice for fibroid tumors

fibroid on the fundas

cani take fertiaid with fibroids

ioSafe&#146;s hell-or-high-water hard drive can take a beating

Ten best small business stories of the week

Fitch downgrades Greece&#146;s bond rating

In crisis, Iceland asked U.S. for &#145;preferably&#146; $1-billion

Why L.A. won&#39;t get an NFL team any time soon

Can investors play Target&#39;s expansion?

Expect more consolidation in newsprint market, Abitibi head says

ECB may be preparing new tightening strategy

The rates they are a-changin&#39;

Clinton touts China as emerging equal, not rival

Former Iceland bank executives arrested

News Corp. delays launch of iPad newspaper

U.S. industrial production advances

Quick facts about the Mary River project

World Bank makes case for new reserve currency

Mainichi