Head graphic
Divorced from reality. Reality got the house and kids.


Relax, death welcomes you

All the decisions in life, big and small, lead you strangely to your present situation. Somehow, this is all the more palpable in the context of death; for when you think of it, this is the end result of all your decisions. Should I apply for that job in Japan? Should I cook tonight or eat out? Should I study physics or biology? Should I learn the Tango? Should I buy my friend a drink at the bar or just take care of myself this round?

Of emotions, there are few so painful as regret. That is why the answer to whether one should embrace a particular challenge is generally “yes”. When choosing between a number of strong options, however, I break down in doubt and find myself paralysed by indecision. I am far from a satisficer and, instead of seeking a solution of adequacy, always seek the optimal which, ironically, is generally a sub-optimal strategy. The current decision with which I am faced is subject of a future post. The macabre inspiration for the topic is, of course, the subject of the present one.

This morning I awoke with my heart racing and a mournful yet peaceful disposition. My early hours were full of wild dreams as is often the case. Today I was on some tropical island with a cohort of Brazilian colleagues from modelling days. Stranded or vacationing I recollect not. That dream was displaced by one far more salient.

I boarded a Korean air flight and remember being taken to my seat. It was spacious and comfortable and perhaps in first or business class. After showing us to our seats and taking the usual preparatory actions, the (American, not Korean) flight attendants were seated nearby for takeoff. They sit facing rearward as it affords a higher likelihood of survival in the event of a crash - you might take notice on your next flight.

Shortly after takeoff, I felt the plane was flying at a decline. I could see buildings outside the window flying past and growing larger. Though terrified I expected the plane to pull up and tried to imagine the pilot landing successfully in a field or in the water, but the density of buildings suggested that was impossible. The flight attendant made some announcements about remaining calm and the imminent impact but I wasn't paying attention. People started to panic and push and the flight attendant announced "If you want to live, you won't stab the seat in front of you".

I felt then that I was going to die and felt resigned to my fate. I stared forward and thought I saw white light rushing through the front of the plane. The flight attendant, in a sweet, calm voice then announced: "Relax, death welcomes you." And suddenly I woke.

When I arrived at the office this morning, my friend informed me that (Lee) Alexander McQueen was dead. Enabled by gilt, I have assembled a small and cherished collection of Alexander McQueen paraphernalia including a frock coat, broach, silk bow ties, and silk pajama shirt. Most of these items I wear infrequently, if at all, but relish in the opulence and associated Victorian nostalgia.

I followed @mcqueenworld on twitter, and enjoyed photographs and videos from shows. The closest, however, I got was from crashing a casting (run not, of course, by the man himself) in Milan. My agency didn’t send me, but I went anyway with my friends. After I walked, I had my Polaroid taken but that was all. No callbacks, options, or bookings. I have some friends who must have met him when doing the shows.

His death is largely meaningless to much of the population, but any kind of connection, peripheral as it may be, has been embraced by the fashion world. The end of a great man reminds us not only of our own mortality, but of our unused potential, lest we too pass without reaching it.

His death reminded me also of Daul Kim’s suicide late last year. If such exceptional individuals were within such reach of despair, then what of us and our friends, family, and neighbours? Daul’s blog was removed swiftly after the news of her suicide. I returned to it today, expecting to see the same message of access restriction, and found that it has been mercifully restored to public access. I am happy that one of her outlets for expression and contribution to society can once again serve to inspire us and recall our duty to foster a sense of community and appreciation of and amongst our peers.

Reflecting on the lives of others reveals the most about your own. Your own triumphs and fears, goals and insecurities, achievements and failures. Behind the skull motifs and melancholy music are a series of decisions - conscious ones, passive ones, acquiescent ones - that brought you to the gears of your current life and will bring you, ultimately, to the end of it.

Posted by William at 00:06 | Comments (0)

Powered by
Movable Type 3.15

34,000-Year-Old Organisms Found Buried Alive

JFK Library Launches Largest Presidential Online Archive

Low Quality Alloy Cause of Shuttle Main Tank Issue

HiJacking the iPhone's Headset Port

Research Suggests E-Readers Are "Too Easy" To Read

VP8 Decoder Implemented In Flash Using Alchemy

Intel Plans Windows 8 Phones

Palin's E-Mail Hacker Imprisoned Against Judge's Wishes

Trend Micro Chairman Says Open Source Is a Security Risk

allis chalmers 6 cylinder diesel engine

allis chalmers tractor parts oil pump wd

hip haircuts for toddler boys

old allis chalmers bulldozers

allis chalmers 440 for sale

how new york high school students calculate gpa

allis chalmers sticker hd 3

allis chalmers lawn crawlers

allis chalmers b 112 end loader

reebok sweatshirts india

deutz allis 5215

dooney bourke bolero

angela allisia perry

allison transmission in mn

history on allis chalmers 200

skyclad wiccan pictures

allison ramsey murder

allis chalmers roto valve

antique outboard motor magneto tester

dawn allison free


840 allis chamlers wheel loader

allis chalmers 5030 for sale

allison mccabe pictures chmura hartland

deutz allis chalmers

forklift allis and chalmers water pump

allis chalmers agricultural crawler hd 5

95 nissan pathfinder instrument cluster

h3 allis chalmers engine overhaul kit

spanish prayers for funerals

allis chalmers g used sale

catalog parts on line allis chalmer 545b

danish modern furniture makers mark

robert and allison williams dubois pa

barnett nitro pistol crossbow manual instruction

shop manuel for 6040 allis chamler


electrical diagram for 1944 allis chalmers b tractor

allis chalmers 816 mower parts

allis wd for sale minnesota

where to put as fluid in allis chalmers 180

allison decorative hook and rail walmart

allison adams shortsville

allison password remember

allison c1 failure

220 allis chalmers

allis chalmer lawn tractor decals

allise font rapidshare

teme sony ericsson w910i allisyn arm

filipino declamation about nature

turbo allis chalmers wd

allison deer ranch carthage tx


allis chalmer in florida

dipg nanoparticle

allis chalmers baler parts

allis chalmers generator engine identification

allis chalmers 5050 restoration

allison buckley ma

automotive wire rating table

allis chalmers 6060 for sale

allison transmission screensavers

pdf allis chalmers shop manual 190xt


allis chalmers all crop for sale

allison mack bsnude

how to escape from jail

pictures 1940 wc allis chalmers

antique limoge sazerat vase

craigslist allis chalmers garden tractor

1951 allis chalmers tractors wd45

fiat allis parts new hampsure

allis chalmers hd 21 crawler parting out

used allis chalmers tractors for sale maine

ingersoll 4020 electric fuel pump

allis chalmers hd5 crawler

allis hd5 bulldozers

p0742 allison

custom bed headboard plans

allison transmission canada ht740 touch control shifter

allison angel pictures

allis chalmers 615 industrial tractor description

indoor playground putnam county georgia

ronald allison murder

allis chambers h3


allis chalmers g craigslist

fairy butterfly napkin fold

allis chalmers 190xt sale


allis chalmers cotton

allison adler

allis chalmers 190xt sales literature

allis chalmer generator speed switch

allis chalmer clothes

allison weder freeones

toad digestive system

allis chalmers b craigslist illinois

allis chalmers 600 planter

historia de la salud mental en mexico

allis chalmers hd16 cable dozers for sale

allis chalmers 616 parts


allison duncan peterborough

sample break up letters to girlfriend

allis chalmers 160 salvage parts

Fed Goes Hunting For Malcontents

craigslist allis chalmers 7020

paolo bolognese married allison bloom

canine excessive drinking diarrhea vomiting restlessness

allis chalmers tractor operator manual

frankie allister

allis chalmers 8030 seats

allis chalmers d14 rotor gap setting

rims for allis chalmers wd

eyebrow filler stencil

allison j mitchell seattle

allis chalmers 72 pull combine for sale

allis chalmers d17 schematics

different kinds of blood gangs

craigslist allis dozer


allison conrad atlanta

allis chalmers 616 for sale

delco shower regulator schematics

old allis chalmer signs for sale


allis chalmers 720 sale

hot female stomach punching

allis chalmers toys

185 allis chalmers operations

free online manual for allis chalmers 816 gt twin 16

allis chalmers crawler oil pump

fujitsu air conditioners fort wayne in

allis chalmers wd45 for sale

allis chalmers 175 diesel wiring schematics

halimbawa ng solicitation letter para sa chess tournament

allis chalmers tl 10 for sale

rpg maker vx army sprites

art work or pictures of allis chalmers tractors

allis chalmers 1978 turbo diesel engine hp 4354814

allis chalmers pto trans parts print out

allis chalmers b 212 transaxle

allis chalmers g tractors for sale

allison munn yoga

old allis garden tractors for sale in missouri

internasional speling alfabets

how to hook a joy stick on a allis challmers 185


allis chalmers wd45 parts

linksys wcg200 cc wireless g cable gateway cable modem and brighthouse

allis chalmers d17 decal locations

attachments for allis chalmers hd 5 crawler

allis chalmers 620 for sale

looking for conversion for allis chalmers tractor from 6 volt electrical system to 12 volt system diagrham included

little red ants in connecticut

centrifugal switches for allis chalmer generator

wholesale mickey mouse clubhouse dinnerware

how do you set the brake tension on allis chalmers dozer

western design themes

185 allis hydraulic specs

descuido de allison carrot

allison fitch lawyer


3 point hicth for a 1959 allis chamers

allis chalmers wc generator wiring

allis chalmers 2900 mk

allis chalmers wd 45 tillers

julie beatty tennessee

power steering hydraulic cylinder 190 allis chalmers

super mario ge lexi video

automatic transmission allison 3060 photos

westampton nj presbyterian roger weir

allison elizabeth ingham


allis chalmers h3 dozer clutch shims


allison pto adapters

allis chalmers d motor grader for sale

lamborghini diablo black wallpapers

allis chalmers bucket

allis snap coupler for sale mn

find allison williams tv news reporter


allis chalmers b 210 21 speed

task force hedge trimmer review

allis c for sale

marine gearbox allison


fiat allis 645 spec

allis chalmers d15 tractor front hub problems


allis chalmers 25000 engine for sale

1966 american hoist and derrik 20 ton rough terrane military crane

allison moser cvs

ohio seismic exploration activity

dawn allison video clips

allis chalmers dozer hd 16

allis chalmers wf for sale

accessory pump for allis chalmers c

silk blue hydrangea petals

allis chalmers d17 diesel starter

is malcolm allison alive

rollable cloth banner ancient

allison mccabe catholic memorial ali

allis chalmers type ast transformer

allis chalmers attachments

allis chalmers tractor starter conversion kits

headlights for allis chalmers 6060

allis chalmers wc spec

720 allis chalmers

2001 hyunda sonata harnessknock sensor

allison macdonald music bc

allis chalmers 185 manual online

allis chalmers push dozer for sale

allison world md3060 ecu wiring

maxim teresa omaha How To Get Around the Holes In IE9 Beta's Implementation of Canvas

Why Sony Cannot Stop PS3 Pirates

EDSAC Computer To Be Rebuilt

Capcom 'Saddened' By Game Plagiarism Controversy

Capcom 'Saddened' By Game Plagiarism Controversey

North Korean Domain Names Return To the Internet

Google Pushes New Chrome Release, Pays $14k Bounty

Is Samsung Blocking Updates To Froyo?

Virgin Mobile To Start Throttling Broadband2Go

Embedded Linux 1-Second Cold Boot To QT

Are 10-11 Hour Programming Days Feasible?

NASA Says 2010 Tied For Warmest Year On Record

Amazon EC2 Enables Cheap Brute-Force Attacks

First Ceiling Light Internet Systems Installed

Google vs. Bing — a Quasi-Empirical Study


Tiny Silicon Chip Uses Quantum Physics to Slow Light Down

CES Confessions: Booth Babes, Trash, Motorola, Media

Real-Life <em>Angry Birds</em>Adds Human Interaction to Your Addiction

Review: <em>Green Hornet</em>Leans On Superheroes' Latest Weapon: Comedy

What's Inside: Purina Kitten Chow

Jan. 14, 1794: First Successful Cesarean in U.S.

In Nuclear Silos, Death Wears a Snuggie

Celebrating 70 Years of Jeep

Burning Question: Why Do E-Mails Contain Legal Warnings?

Alt Text: Join the Church of Strahmin, Then Leave

Old School Jet Retooled to Slay Stealth Fighters

For 3-D Video, the Near Future Is DIY

EVO Phone With Keyboard? Just Not Our Type

Airborne Prions Make for 100 Percent Lethal Whiff

Apple's Next iOS Improves Interface, Adds Multitouch Gestures for iPad

Two New Views of Stunning Starburst Galaxy

Lawyer: PlayStation 3 Jailbreak Code Is a 'Google Search Away'

Unfollowed: Pentagon Deletes Social Media Office

Researchers Use MRI to Predict Your Gaming Prowess

Upcoming Asus Tablets Will Run Android Honeycomb

Report: Feds Prepare to Block Google's Flight-Data Deal

Sucklord's Bootleg Sci-Fi Toys Freak <cite>Star Wars</cite>

WikiLeaks Contributes $15K to Bradley Manning's Defense

Secret Service Study Probes Psyche of U.S. Assassins

Afghanistan's Green Marines Cut Fuel Use by 90 Percent

Video: Ludacris 'Not Blowing Smoke' With New Headphones

Mystery Disease Found in Pacific Salmon

What We Know About Honeycomb, aka Android for Tablets

Video: Sound Egg Isolates Your Annoying Tunes

Google Translate App Now Almost A Personal Babel Fish


ioSafe&#146;s hell-or-high-water hard drive can take a beating

Ten best small business stories of the week

allis chalmers replacement engines

allison cross gleich

9 speed allison transmission oil

hip orthopedic exercise

allison buckley strongsville ohio

tulle food cover

allister 3000 garage door safety sensors

allis chalmers hd 5 oil pump

allis chalmers wd45 12 volt conversion

allison angel free

allis c clutch replacement

wc allis manual pdf

fish crush video

used allis chalmers b tractor parts

selling a allis chalmers b110

andrew c meyer and clearwater

allis chalmers wd45 tractor

acer battery acer battery

pictures of allis chalmer i 400

616 allis chambers

free printable chain mail jewelry patterns

allis chalmers b 112 parts diagrams

pictures allis chalmers 816

allister max 3 jetwash parser

donald sanada

specs on a 2007 lbz duramax allison transmission

natalia met art video

seat specifications for allis chalmers d 12

allison kilgore puritian

allis chalmers backhoe pictures

freddie mercury signature

allis chalmers hd5b

microsoft common power problems v6310us

allison murray pixley

allis chalmers c rebuild pictures

allis chalmers plant

allison walsh

allis chalmers ca hand clutch

limited edition elegant lady figurines collection flowers

davey allison diecast

what tiller can fit on allis chalmer b 1940

allis chalmers screen saver

allis chalmers 5050 for sale

medieval unicorn screensaver

allis chalmers starter wiring

pathophysiology of hyperkalemia in diagram

pictures of allis chalmers g hydraulics

allis chalmers starters uk

orangeburg county consolidated school district 5 administration jobs

hd 3 allis chalmer parts

juan martin flamenco rumba tutorial free download

allis chalmers forklift wiring diagram ace40kevee36v

octave mandolin craigslist

wd allis chalmers photos

v12 allison engine

oil pan gasket for 7000 allis chalmers tractor

allison erwin seaside

allis chalmers 620 transmission filter

sterilization of surgical instruments

park neutral switch allison 1000 transmission adjustment

john valentine canzone

allis chalmers hd16b

allis chalmers for sale on craigslist

allis chalmers d14 front hydraulic pump kit


starter allis chalmers g tractor

edema and sunburn

allis b light switch failures

allis chalmers 5050 brake

short english filipino traits poems

agco allis 414 h pictures

pickled yellow wax bean recipe

allis chalmers 716h for sale


wiring diagram for allis chalmers model c

is allison dubois helping with the madeleine mccann case

1953 allis chalmers wd parts

allissa anne morrow jackson nj

allis chalmers 7045 tractor wiring diagram

round fabric tablecloths

allis chalmers wc manual

fiat allis 65 transmission

allis chalmers 190xt for sale in mn

greenlee 2011 power finder circuit tracer in the philippines

allis chalmers 611ltd h parts

1958 allis chalmers dozers

teapot bag pylones

allis chalmers road parts

fun grammar and punctuation quizzes

allis chalmers 185 manual pdf

wiring diagram allis chalmers tractors


sp?İcification allis chalmers hd 41


allis chalmers 720

panzer general 3d patch

allischalmer b10

styrofoam white columns for porch

brooke allison peachyforum


allis chalmers i 40

1944 allis chalmers steerig box


allis chalmers 5020 loa

allison brooke maynard

olds opera trombone

allis chalmers tractors 716 hydrostat

giant doberman pictures

what weight is a 1983 fiat allis bulldozer

aau junior olympics wrestling

injector pump 6060 allis chalmers


allis chalmers electric brakes

miniature pinscher prices

allis wd hold position valve

tarp grabbers sold in australia Fitch downgrades Greece&#146;s bond rating

In crisis, Iceland asked U.S. for &#145;preferably&#146; $1-billion

Why L.A. won&#39;t get an NFL team any time soon

Can investors play Target&#39;s expansion?

Expect more consolidation in newsprint market, Abitibi head says

ECB may be preparing new tightening strategy

The rates they are a-changin&#39;

Clinton touts China as emerging equal, not rival

Former Iceland bank executives arrested

description of an allis chalmers 615 gas and diesel industrial

7030 allis gauge


how much does a fiat allis 21c dozer weight

allison macks church

school food inventory open source php

allis chalmers h3 brake bands

allis 410

women swallowing the biggest cocks

allison taylor wholesale wrap tie blouse

how to install gatehouse 3 8 self closing inset cabinet hinges

allis chalmers model 2900 engine image

ronald allison texas murder

allis chalmers sickle mowers

man holding the world tattoos

authorized allison transmission repair in naples fl

citroen b11 technical

duetz allis 616 wiring diagram

allison bishop crossfit nyc

free spirit scp1000pci tv tuner xp driver

716 allis chalmer replacement spindles for mower deck

shotgun home defense strategy tips

allis chalmers b210 belts

tribute to living baptist deacon in church

wd 45 facts about the allis chalmer tractor

allis chalmbers 720 fuel pump

allis chalmers tractor b 112 sale canada

allis chalmers g tractor starter

allis chalmers b what type of oil in the transmission

allis chalmers 5015 tachometer


trouble shooting allis chalmers 811gt

allis chalmers d 12 wiring diagram

craigslist inflatable water slide albany ga

allis chalmers garden tractor snow blade

replacement engine allis b 10

free online repair manuals allis chalmers tractors 314

allis chalmers 314 tractors

allison transmission fluid capacity

restored allis chalmers model c tractor for sale

allis chalmers d17 governor action

air shifter allison

allison ignition coils

allis chalmers wd10

allison hawley upenn

mia sweet tube

allis chalmers transformer reference book

allis chalmers 2 row corn planter no till

v12 allison engine rebuild

used allis chalmers grader d

houseboats for rent lake fontana nc

wd allis chalmers brake schematic

al gore presentation on dangers of development activities causing ecological disasters

fiat allis d

7010 allis chalmers tractors for sale in texas

rim lock pins allis


1974 allis chalmers 630 lawn mower information

allis chalmers wc speed patrol grader for sale

allis chalmers shop manual

allis chalmers 5040 farm tractor

irish afghan patterns

allis chalmers wd power steering

allison kilgore

allis chalmers 816 gt deck belt

816 gt allis belt installation

wallpapers da jennefer allison

leaf blower supercharger dyno

allis chalmers all crop flax roller

allison 250

brothels saratoga springs n y

allison sandoval nebraska

allis sickle

kenmore oasis r2 code

allis chamers 180 loader

bay city michigan riverfront redevelopment success

allison marine gear

6140 allis chalmers fluids

allis chalmers ca parts

allis chalmers 720 craigslist

1991 bayliner hull reviews

allis chalmbers wcmanifold

elite panama foto de allison

bolt on overdrive allison transmission

young black males jerking off together

allis chalmers 7040 for sale craigslist

allis plow restoration

allis 720 for sale

allis chalmers 7020 forums


d21 allis chalmers for sale

food News Corp. delays launch of iPad newspaper

U.S. industrial production advances

Quick facts about the Mary River project

World Bank makes case for new reserve currency